Friday, February 25, 2011

Dealing with distance

Kenji and I climbing Drakensberg in South Africa (May 2010)
I think at one point I told myself that I wouldn't blog about my relationships any more, since the last one I blogged about sort of ended in disaster (understatement). But here I am, after Marie-Eve Vallieres requested via Twitter that I impart my knowledge of long-distance dating upon the world. Little did they know exactly how large the can of worms was she was opening - but it's not like me to deny a request.

Allow me to backpedal a moment.

Since we started dating, my boyfriend Kenji and I have spent a total of 28 days in the same time zone. We met last May while on a volunteer project in St. Lucia, South Africa with African Impact, though we didn't start dating officially until a few months later. That time (and many conversations thereafter) was reserved for a number of discussions regarding his traveling, my plans to study abroad and whether we thought being a couple was worth our time.

Most people ask me why, but I think that might be an entirely different blog. Long-distance relationships are hard, but they are by no means impossible. I wouldn't be in the relationship I'm in if I didn't think it was worth something and there are ways that make it easier on both of us. So here they are.

1. Set aside time
Make the time to talk, whether it's through type or voice talking. Obviously a phone or Skype call is best, but while traveling often the Internet is unreliable at best and typing over Facebook Chat is the best you can do. Whatever your situation, taking an extra twenty minutes at an Internet Cafe or finding a hostel with unlimited Internet access will make a world of difference. If you both don't take the time, one of you will start to feel resentful.

2. It's the little things

I couldn't have written this blog without some input from the other side, so Kenji offered this piece of advice. He likened the little things you can do while you're halfway around the world to the text messages you send during downtime at school or work even if you're going to see your partner later in the day. Taking the time to send a quick message, whether it's on Facebook, a quick e-mail or even a postcard can make your partner's day. Particularly when it's months before you'll see each other, not hours.

3. Have a time line

Dealing with distance can be made so much easier when there's a light at the end of the tunnel. Plan ahead for the next time you see each other no matter how far away that date may be. Even discussing potential visits will help ease the stress of long periods of time apart. Ballpark a date or a month that you will see each other next and make tentative plans by researching things you could do together. Even the prospect of seeing each other will lift your spirits and give you something to look forward to.

4. Use Skype

Skype is likely the greatest invention known to couples not living in the same city. Free calling between computers and cheap calls to landlines and cell phones make Skype a great tool for those in long distance relationships. Being able to speak to someone and see them on video can make all the difference when you're coping with months apart.


It's almost to be expected that if you love traveling your current, or potential, partner will share that passion. Trying to make a long distance relationship work 20 years ago would have been next to impossible, but technology now helps us keep in touch so much more intimately. If you are serious about making it work, you can ease the strain of the miles.

Friday, February 18, 2011

Until now: Top 5

You can also read this blog on GotSaga.

From the relatively obscure to the well traveled, my adventures are far from over. Up until now, here is a list of places that I would return to in a heartbeat and that I recommend you visit at least once.

1. Antrim coast, Northern Ireland

Breathtaking Northern Ireland’s hidden jewel is a car trip that can easily be navigated within a day, as the road around the north of the country has four magnificent sights. It’s such a great experience that I did it twice.

First stop is the Carrick-a-Rede rope bridge, once used by fisherman and though not for the faint of heart, even if you don’t to cross the bridge its locale provides great views. Second is Torr Head, just off the Causeay Coastal Route which is another great lookout, though not as fantastic as the medieval Dunluce Castle, whose kitchen once crumbled into the sea. Finally the volcanic anomaly of the Giant’s Causeway, the most popular attraction in Northern Ireland, is the last, but not least stop on the road.







2. Drakensberg, South Africa

Trekking and hiking are among my favourite activities to do abroad, which is probably why climbing the Drakensberg mountains in Zululand ranks a very close second on my list.
A relatively easy climb for the inexperienced mountaineer, the mountain has breathtaking views from all altitudes. It may take a couple days, but one can camp or stay in beautiful mountainside lodges as they make their way up the mountain. Once at its peak, you’ll find yourself standing on top of Tugela Falls, the world’s second-largest waterfall.

Full of beautiful gorges and the rare opportunity to drink straight from the fall’s crystal streams, it’s a must-see for anyone traveling to South Africa.







3. Ezuluweni Valley, Swaziland

Swaziland is one of the most underestimated travel locations in southern Africa. With plenty of adventure attractions combined with luxury hostels and spas on the cheap, the Ezulwini Valley has everything any traveler could want in one street.

Surrounded by beautiful hills filled with typical African flora and fauna, Swaziland is rife with culture and beauty. Quad biking, game drives, white water rafting and caving all provide great experiences for the adventurous traveler. At the same time, spas and luxurious bed and breakfasts will please any traveler looking to relax on the cheap. I loved it so much the first time jumped at the opportunity to return two years later.


4. Santorini, Greece

Home to the best Greek salad I’ve ever tasted, this small Greek island is packed with activities for every breed of traveler. Whether you choose to hit the bars, stroll the streets or quad bike around the small island, you’re sure to be satisfied – and the beaches will not disappoint. If you arrive by boat, riding the donkeys up the steep slope from the harbour is a must – not only is it thrilling but you’ll be laughing about it for the rest of the day.


5. Amsterdam, The Netherlands

My first experience on mainland Europe has really stayed with me, however it’s probably because I did everything right during my brief stay in this beautiful city.
If you only have 24 hours like I did, I highly recommend visiting the Amsterdam Historical Museum, located in what was once the city’s orphanage. Having a friend who was attending the university, I was able to borrow a bicycle and see the city the way it should be seen, and I recommend renting a bike and doing the same. And of course, don’t miss a brief stop in one of the local coffee shops.